this winter is getting out of hand...(ok, that was a bad one).

I’d say things have been a tad quiet around the “Khaki Shorts” blog lately….

This round of excuses, though, are pretty legit. I’ve been very busy finishing up TWO book projects (more to come on that…), traveling to the sunshine state with six of my best friends, and attempting to drag myself through this last dreadful month of a long winter with copious amounts of hot chocolate on hand.

Speaking of which, this is a blog about hands.

They’re pretty important. No matter what side of the Bill Nye/Ken Ham debate you fall on, you have to admit that the evolution/creation of hands was pretty key to the success of homo sapiens on this planet (just to be clear, The Science Guy and I go way back to about 4th grade and I’d probably side with him on almost ANY debate. Annd nooow you knooow.).

Zookeepers especially need their hands. Yes, I know fingers come in handy to all ya’ll office workers out there who spend the 9-5 type, type, typing away, but Keepers use the WHOLE hand all day every day. Scrubbing, sweeping, making balls out of raw meat, lifting bales of hay, greasing locks, tying trash bags, washing dishes, using tools, crafting enrichment items, checking locks, checking locks and checking locks are just a few ways Zookeepers use their hands almost constantly.

It takes its toll.

Even as a child, I’ve always had dry hands. As an adult and now a zookeeper, though, “dry” doesn’t even begin to describe them. I’d say a better adjective would be “gross.”

In the effort of full disclosure, I offer photographic proof below of the fact that my hand twin would more likely be found with the nursing home crowd than among my fellow twenty-somethings.

They are wrinkly. The skin is thin. There are bleeding cracks and rough spots everywhere with a nice smattering of eczema to top it all off. Pretty, I know. If there ever comes a time when I should feel the need to (*cough*) photograph my left hand for some reason, I won’t be surprised if people mistake if for my Grandma’s (sorry, Grandma, but when you’re 85 it’s okay to have wrinkly hands!).

However, to paraphrase the wise words of Jewel, despite their shortcomings, my hands are ugly I know, but they’re not yours they are my own. So I guess I’m stuck with them.

I’ve tried to remedy the situation each and every winter with a wide array of products. Of course I’ve been through my fair share of Gold’s, Jergen’s and Bath and Body. I’ve attempted the tried and true ST. IVES. Easy on the budget, not so helpful on the eczema.

For awhile I entered a BAG BALM phase. Bag Balm has been produced in Vermont for over 100 years for the original purpose of soothing the chapped udders of dairy cows. For real. I figured, hey, if it works on udders it has to work for me. The result? Eh. It does work on lips though, try it on lips.

My sister recommended BIO-OIL which is apparently for stretch marks. I started this product last week. If you want to see how well it works check out the provided photo below. Fabulous.

One product that sort of-kind of-maybe a little bit works for me is O’KEEFE’S FOR WORKING HANDS. This lotion touts itself as “The Leading Hand Cream For People Who Work With Their Hands.” Right on. Still, though, not perfect.

If anyone out there in the blog world is attempting to invent the next great lotion, I volunteer as tester. If it works on my scaly, bleeding lizard hands, it’ll work on anybody.

Also, if anyone really has discovered that miracle product to turn back the clock (or rather, grow back the skin…) tell me about it! Please!

For now I’ll just continue my routine, lotioning and oiling and lotioning and oiling until Spring arrives.

Which is hopefully soon. Please, dear God let it be soon. Please, please, please.

In the meantime, the book project I have been working on for the past year, Lily: A True Story of Courage and the Joplin Tornado has been sent to the printers and will be released in the next few weeks!

My second book project for 2014, Happy Birthday St. Louis is simply spiffing itself up just a teeny bit more before it too makes its debut.

TWO exciting book projects are COMING SOON! Stay tuned and stay warm out there, people!

polar vortex recap.

The big news in the Lou this week is the Polar Vortex.

What is this crazy weather, you ask? Click here to learn more!

That’s the science of it…but really it just felt like super cold temps and a whole lot of snow. 

Naturally, there is no such thing as a true go-back-to-bed-no-work-at-all snow day in the world of zookeeping. Most animals need care 365 days a year, polar vortex or no polar vortex. So, I had to head into work both Sunday (blizzard day) and Monday (frigid day).

As you may recall, working outside everyday in the winter was my biggest concern upon becoming a carnivore keeper. I HATE being cold and I’m the type who is ALWAYS cold. I barely tolerate air conditioning, people. Little did I know I would spend the winter working the coldest routine in the carnivore unit and that we would face the coldest temps our city has seen in my lifetime! 

Needless to say, when I saw a forecasted windchill of -30 I was a tad concerned…

So, how was it really?

Actually, not bad. Really not bad at all.

Sunday it snowed constantly, which is always beautiful and exciting. There’s nothing like a blizzard. I can’t remember the last time it snowed so hard all day long and truly I loved it. 

I left work around 10:30 that day, which was a nice change of pace. THAT, my friends, is a Zookeeper Snow Day!

Upon leaving work, I had the idea to immediately swap Carhartt’s for sweatpants and spend the day on the couch drinking hot chocolate. 

My boyfriend, John (aka my 4 wheel drive chauffeur for the weekend), however, had other plans.

We ended up spending the rest of Sunday driving around St. Louis like two idiots. It started with a mission to shovel John’s grandma’s driveway and pick up some sleds and ended up turning into an all day “dig strangers out of the snow and push cars out of ditches on the highway” fest. 

I won’t lie, at first, I was pretty mad. I really had my eye on those sweatpants.

But it actually turned into quite an adventure and between the two of us, John and I “saved” eight cars from certain doom in the snow. 

I eventually got to the sweatpants, around 4:00 pm. Phew!

Snow is fun, super negative wind chills, however, are not. I really braced myself for Monday. But like I said, it actually was not bad! The sun helped. And it wasn’t too windy. Plus, it was just so freaking beautiful with all that SNOW!

At one point I took my glove off to take a picture, which was probably a mistake and several other employees commented on the fact that my nose and cheeks were the exact shade of my magenta hat, but other than that it was just fine.

I’ll chalk it up to really good gear. And the fact that we got to leave at noon! Not too shabby. This second “Zookeeper Snow Day” allowed me to clean my apartment AND finish my weekly laundry before 5:00 pm! Truly, everyone should be allowed to leave work at noon on their Friday just so they can get all of their dumb chores done and enjoy the weekend! It was glorious. 

To sum it up—vortex schmortex. 

The animals are fine and happy and, let’s be honest, extreme weather is always exciting.

For better or for worse, Zookeepers in the Midwest get to feel the full force of each different season. It’s something I both love and hate about my job. 

Here are some of the pics I took Sunday/Monday. Hope everyone enjoyed being snowed in!

(Sunrise in Forest Park Monday Morning)

(No, that’s not Santa’s Workshop. Just a bathroom at the Zoo.)

(It doesn’t LOOK that cold…)

(Preparing to work in the blizzard)

(Sledding. Obviously necessary.) 

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Well, it is December 22 and I am definitely ready for three of the best days of the year–Christmas, Christmas Eve and Christmas Eve Eve!

 

December is always a fun month full of parties, cookies and (if we’re really, really lucky) snow! But everyone knows the best part of Christmas is watching Christmas movies. (Kidding. Sort of.)

 

I’ve been very busy lately working, shopping and baking, so I’ve hardly had time to watch some of my favorites. I have a lot of catching up to do over the next couple of days!

 

Below is my countdown of the top 5 (in my opinion) Christmas movies ever. Grab some egg nog. Watch. Enjoy.

 

5. ELF

 

Elf is a on the more modern side of Christmas classics, but I consider it a real yuletide masterpiece. Elf includes the North Pole, carols, Will Ferrell, claymation and warm fuzzy feelings–really everything a successful Christmas movie should! Try to watch Elf and not smile. It is literally impossible. It’s claymation scenes are an allusion to another holiday gem, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Don’t forget to include Rudolph, The Bumble and Yukon Cornelius in your movie marathon too!

 

4. MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS

 

It’s just not Christmas without the Muppets. Seriously, Kermit and friends have been spreading holiday cheer for as long as I can remember. Many of my friends are fans of A Muppet Christmas Carol. Good, yes. But the best? No. Muppet Family Christmas was a made for TV special that ran in 1987. My dad taped it off of the TV with an old VHS and my family has been watching it every year since. It doesn’t just feature the Muppet cast, but also includes the characters from Sesame Street and a few Fraggles too. Like Elf, it’s chock full of the best of Christmas–more carols, more warm fuzzy feelings, a Christmas turkey and an icy patch to boot!

 

3. HOME ALONE

 

This movie has had a profound impact on my life. I spent most of my childhood attempting to create booby traps thanks to the creative genius of Kevin McAllister. Seriously. My quote in our senior high school yearbook was “This is it. Don’t get scared now.” thanks to Kevin too! Home Alone has more solidly quotable lines than any movie I know (perhaps with the exception of Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, but it’s pretty dang close ). Before watching be sure to order yourself a cheese pizza, include a nice tip and don’t forget to tell the delivery boy to keep the change, ya filthy animal!

 

2. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE

 

When someone gets hired at the Zoo they take a “True Colors” test to outline their personality type. “Blues” are the emotional, feelings sort who really like rainbows and butterflies and, of course, Christmas too. Well, I’m a “blue” person and It's A Wonderful Life is about as blue a movie as you can find, so, of course I love it. It’s not just one of my favorite Christmas movies ever, it’s also one of my top ten favorite any kind of movie ever! The characters are amazing, Jimmy Stewart is perfect and there is plenty to laugh, cry and cheer about. If you’ve never seen this movie it is a must watch every holiday season. It is long though, so set aside an evening to curl up by the fire and appreciate this absolute classic.

 

1. WHITE CHRISTMAS

 

 This is the Christmas movie to end all Christmas movies! (That’s why it’s #1, duh!) Mr. Christmas himself, Bing Crosby, stars, alongside Rosemary Clooney (George’s aunt), Vera Ellen and Danny Kaye.White Christmas is in so many ways far superior to any cocker spaniel. There’s snow, of course, amazing dance scenes and a slam-bang finish! Try not to let your heart melt when you hear Bing sing “White Christmas” at the end.

 

So, there you have it! The best movies to watch over the next few days. 

Honorable Mentions: A Christmas Story, The Grinch, A Claymation Christmas, Love Actually, Garfield’s Christmas Special, A Charlie Brown Christmas and Christmas Vacation. All excellent films too.

Like all opinions, obviously, these thoughts are simply reflections of what I grew up with. I know everyone grows up with different Christmas movies, songs and traditions, so if you agree or disagree with the list, leave a comment below!

 

Enjoy the celebrations this week! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!