on scuba diving.

When I was about 8 or 9 years old my sister and I entered a summer story writing contest at the local library. The topic was “My Dream Summer Vacation.”

My sister wrote about spending the summer flying around on a magical Pegasus. 

I wrote about spending my summer as a sea lion at the Saint Louis Zoo (a totally normal idea, right?). 

My sister won. 

I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to live the life of a sea lion at the Zoo. What’s not to like? They spend all day sunbathing and swimming around. Exactly what I like to do on my vacation! And on hot summer days, oh man, that water has always looked wonderful. 

Well, this year “My Dream Summer Vacation” kind of became my life. I was scuba certified in order to swim around in (and clean) the wonderful waters of the sea lion exhibit at the Zoo!

Remember in May when I was just SO excited about diving?

(Scuba Diving Day 1. Oh, how little I knew what was coming.)

Well, November scuba diving is a whole ‘nother beast, ladies and gentleman. A different story.

That wonderful water is now a cool 58 degrees. Fifty-eight, you say? Like a crisp Fall day, right? No, that is not right. Not right at all. Fifty-eight degree water is not the same as fifty-eight degree air. 


Mental_Floss explains it like this: The amount of heat that moves between your body and the surrounding medium and the speed at which it moves, both of which are important to the sensation or warmth or cold that we feel, depends on how good a conductor the medium is. The reason the water feels colder than air is because water is the better conductor of the two. When you hop into that 60-degree pool, heat escapes your body much more easily than it would if you were standing beside the pool in 60-degree air. Because the water takes more heat from your body, and quicker, it feels colder.

I can sum it up a little faster. It feels like this. 

And it’s only going to get worse. Six months in, here are a few reflections on what it’s really like to live like a sea lion at the Saint Louis Zoo. 

1. It’s real cold. Ok, maybe not for the actual sea lions, but definitely for me. I supposedly descended from some hearty, European stock that should be equipped to withstand such temperatures. But man oh man, when that water starts seeping through that wetsuit…yikes. When it hits my face…double yikes. Usually, it’s really just the first two minutes that it gets really bad. Then eventually the skin, wetsuit, hood, socks, gloves etc start to do their job and I warm up. Except my lips. My lips always feel like this guy’s. 

2. I always have to pee. I think it’s the pressure. Sea Lion Sound is not super deep, but even 12 feet of pressure on one little bladder is, for me, too much! I’m typically good for about 25 minutes. There I am la la la la la, swimming, swimming, swimming…when BAM! I have to pee. And I have to hold it for another good half an hour underwater. When I became certified my instructor told me that, “There are those who pee in their wetsuits and those who don’t admit to peeing in their wetsuits.” Well, sir, I refuse to pee in my wetsuit. So , when I scuba dive, I always have to pee. 

3. Speaking of bodily functions, yes, there is a lot of poop. From the sea lions, of course! (I hope that would have been obvious). They live in that water, they poop in that water. Cleaning up the poop is, after all, the purpose of scuba diving at the Zoo. At first, it kind of grossed me out. I mean, that poop floats through the water. The water I am swimming in. My lips and face are exposed, remember? But I quickly got used to it and besides, I shower soon after. What does sea lion poop look like? I would classify it in the fecal matter category of “logs.” Sea lions eat plenty of fish and sometimes the poop is kind of sparkly-like, from the fish scales. If The Rainbow Fish gifted one shiny scale to a furry, brown log, that would be sea lion poop. 

4. Ah, the shower. As a child, I was on the swim team. I’m not really sure why because I’m pretty bad at swimming and I hate cold water, but I was. I remember many cold, cold mornings spent swimming laps in the local Elks Club pool. After shivering our way through practice, my sisters and I would rush home and take the hottest showers imaginable and it was pure nirvana. I never thought I’d have that delectable feeling again. Well, I do now. After one hour of blue-lipped scuba diving in Sea Lion Sound I get to take a really hot shower and it is a truly fantastic moment. Kind of makes swimming in poop worth it in the end.

5. It really is cool.  No, I’m not even trying to make a pun here. Yes, November (and I’m assuming, sadly, December/January/February/March/April) scuba diving is cold. But at one point in my dive today I looked up and Nuna the cutest, not so little (up close!) harbor seal in the whole world, was swimming in circles right above me. She did lots of loops and spirals, swimming right through my bubbles, only a few feet from my nose. And the amazing part?  I was at work! I get to swim with a seal at work!

It’s my summer dream come true. 

It’s really a very lucky deal to get to scuba dive as a part of my job. 

Truly brings a whole new meaning to the idea of starting the work day gathered around the water cooler…




dollah, dollah bills, ya'll!

Everyone knows that Zookeepers don’t make a lot of money. I mean, we’re not poor or anything, but we eat a lot of spaghetti.

This time of year, though, I’m rollin’ in the dough! After CPR/First Aid training, Boo at the Zoo and a Training Workshop, I clocked 31 hours of overtime last pay period!

What to do with that hard earned cash? Oh, don’t worry. I have a three-fold plan!

1. PREPARE FOR WINTER: 

It is important for a girl to update her wardrobe with the change in seasons. Today’s low was 25 degrees, so I’d say Old Man Winter is officially knocking on the door. WIth that in mind, it’s time for me to acquire a few winter luxuries:

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Pssh. I wish! Did I say luxuries? Oops! I meant NECESSITIES. This is actually what I bought:

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(You know what they say, if you’ve got it*, flaunt it! *And by “it” of course I mean a new pair of coveralls…)

And this:

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Upon signing myself onto the Carnivore Unit, I committed to the cold. I hate winter weather, but I learned last year that the right gear makes all the difference. Hence, it was high time to purchase some real Carhartt apparel. Take that, Jack Frost!  I’m ready for ya!

2. A PLANE TICKET TO MIAMI: 

Who am I kidding? Gear or no gear, winter is terrible. One way to make it a teeny, tiny, bit more bearable? Daydreams of Florida, of course!

My high school girlfriends and I concocted the excellent plan of starting a Snow Birding tradition and spending a long weekend in Miami at the end of January. 

We’ve all been best buds for over a decade now, yet we live all around the world. What better way to bond and reconnect than a winter escape to Miami! Don’t mind if I do!

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(T-minus two months til the Nerinx girls descend on Miami)

3. PAY OFF A SPEEDING TICKET 

Funny story. In early September, my great aunt passed away (that is, obviously, not the funny part). I left work in the middle of the day to attend her funeral.

At the reception following the mass, I dropped a plate of blueberry cobbler onto the lap of my black and white polka dotted dress. Naturally, many of the white polka dots turned purple.

My sister offered to let me borrow some clothes so that she could wash the dress for me while I returned to work. 

So, I left the funeral wearing a pink Pi Phi t-shirt, soccer shorts and heels. Classic, Saturday morning apparel, I guess? 

Anyway, I was rushing back to work (in Rock Hill aka one giant speed trap, I might add…) when I got pulled over. 

For some reason the Police Officer didn’t buy my, “But, sir, I’m rushing back to work from a funeral!!” excuse. I guess the pink Pi Phi shirt didn’t really go with the heels. 

Long story short, I got a ticket. One giant, sad chunk out of my overtime pay. 

But, hey, at least there IS such a thing as overtime pay.  

This November, that’s something to be thankful for! 

october recap.

I can’t believe it is already November! I swear, 2013 is flying by. 

October has been one of my favorite months out of the year so far. 

I had more vacation days and more overtime hours in October than any other month. Kind of a weird mix of working too much and not working at all!

In the beginning of the month I traveled to Colorado for my longtime friend, Annie’s wedding. It was so wonderful to get back to one of my favorite states. Everyone had a great time hiking and enjoying some beautiful mountain air. 

(John and I enjoying Colorful Colorado)

Annie and Chris’ wedding was absolutely perfect. It was actually quite emotional for me to see Annie get married. She is one of my oldest friends and, naturally, we have always talked about our weddings. We even used to play the board game “Perfect Wedding” together (to be fair, we played the “We Girls Can Do Anything” game as well…). Watching Annie and her new husband (!) Chris saying their vows I just kept thinking “wow, this is Annie’s wedding…how did we get to be this old?!”. Crazy times, people, crazy times. I am just so glad that Annie and Chris have found so much happiness together and I can’t wait to see where their next adventure takes them. 

(Me and my god-sisters. So happy to celebrate with all of the Kislings!)

Upon returning from Colorado, I actually got to run a race! I love to run, but working weekends is not kind to my race schedule. I typically run one marathon or half (something worth taking a vacation day for!) each year. But the fun weekend races, like 5ks and Tough Mudders are out of the question. That was until…I found a Twilight run! This was a run that started at 7:30 pm! Perfect for a zookeeper! We got to wear glow bracelets and a helicopter flew overhead illuminating the dark path at night. Awesome!

Then it was off to Columbia for some more vacation days with the family! This time we celebrated my little sister, Nancy’s White Coat Ceremony. Nancy is starting her third year of vet school, so she is done with class work and ready for clinicals i.e. real life veterinary work. She is one step close to becoming Dr. Nancy Medicine Woman, white coat and all! Nancy has worked so hard in vet school so far and truly deserves the special recognition. 

(Sisters celebrating Nancy’s white coat! Which she is, unfortunately not wearing in this photo…)

To round out my vacation days splurge, John and I took a camping trip to Johnson’s Shut Ins. I’d never been there before but man, is it beautiful! We arrived on a dark and rainy evening, but spent a fabulous fall day exploring the shut-ins and hiking around the park. THAT is what vacation days are all about, after all! I’d recommend Johnson’s Shut Ins to any outdoorsy Missouri travelers. 

Finally, I rounded out the month with a lot of WORK! I was lucky enough to get to help out with the Children’s Zoo shows for Boo at the Zoo. It is, of course, exhausting working 8am-9 pm several days a week, but Boo nights are totally awesome and I had a great time. It was wonderful to spend time with my CZ coworkers and animals and hey, who doesn’t love dressing up like a pirate and watching hundreds of hyper kids in costumes go nuts?! I hope I can work Boo again next year. It really is a spook-tacular event!

(Sue G, Cassie and I pirating it up on the CZ stage!)

I’d say, it was a pretty solid month! I am happy though, that things are going to calm down a bit, now that we’ve reached November.

It’s time to focus on the important things in life–family and food! 

Here’s to bright leaves and chilly nights! Happy November! 

red october.

October. The leaves are turning red and so are the Zoo visitors! 

Once again, the Cardinals have made it to the World Series and we St. Louisans are all dressing for the occasion. 

There’s just something about October baseball. I’m not going to lie, I don’t watch every single Cardinals game all season long. In fact, I have a confession–I actually really don’t like watching sports. Weird, I know, because I LOVE playing sports. But watching? Nah. I’d rather be on the field. 

I can’t pretend I know everything that is happening in every game (and let’s be honest, if I did, my family would call me out on it immediately). And my Zoo Crew softball teammates DEFINITELY know that I don’t even understand all of the rules!

But there’s just something about Cardinal baseball, especially October Cardinal baseball. 

I grew up with a six foot tall poster of Fred Bird in my bedroom. My mom’s signed Stan Musial and Bob Gibson balls are prized possessions on my family home’s shelves. The sound of summer, to me, is the voice of Jack Buck crackling on the radio and I shed a tear or two watching the old Busch Stadium being torn down. 

When we won the World Series in 2006, I was on a bus with my college field hockey team. There were several players from St. Louis and we all prayed to reach our hotel in Tennessee before the final out. 

In 2011, I sat captivated at my best friend’s rehearsal dinner as David Freese catapulted our redbirds into a game seven. We wore Cardinals jackets and jerseys all day at the wedding, after they brought home the championship. 

No, I can’t claim to be a baseball nut, but I still treasure these memories always. There’s something about Cardinal baseball that brings this city together. We wear our pride well, decked out in red, smiling at each other on the streets as we anticipate each night’s game. We sit together in tense excitement, gritting teeth and clenching rally towels as pitch after pitch hurtles through the air. We cheer together. We sigh together. We celebrate and mourn along with our home team. And that, my friends, is simply what this city is all about.

We may be down a game in the series, but do not fret. We are not out. It is not over. This is no time for tears.

Besides, there’s no crying in baseball, anyway!

To cheer everyone up as we prep for the next game, enjoy this lovely, little recap of our river city celebrating in 2011. A happy night, indeed. 

the only thing you need to know in your twenties.

Google “things you need to know in your twenties.” Seriously. Google it. 54,500,000 results. All articles about “what I’ve learned” during this all-important decade or “things you shouldn’t take for granted” or, my favorite, “how to not waste” your twenties. 

Everyday these articles continue to pop up across the web, irrepressible in their insistence to instruct we Millennials on how to live our young lives. 

I’m tired of it.

I’m getting mighty sick of the articles that tell me that the best way to “live in my twenties” is to get a good job and start a 401K, but travel the world, set sail with the wind, stay out late, but don’t forget to get up early, cook with organic, fried, special Portobello oil while not spending too much money on food…blah, blah, blah blah, blah.

Seriously. How is that possible? How do you hold down a steady job and still have months of freedom to travel? How do you have all the time in the world with your friends while frequenting farmer’s markets and concocting lavish, inspired meals? 

I don’t get it. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. 

See, the thing is, everyone’s life is just so different in their twenties. Most (not all, but most) of us follow a similar trajectory growing up: grade school, high school, college. Ok. Fine. Then, somewhere around 22-23 everyone’s lives just get CRAZY different, spattering in all kinds of directions!

My group of close high school friends include two nurses, a German translator, a coaster design business owner, a public health employee, a manager at a bar, an urban planner, an accountant, two PR representatives, several graduate students, two doctors and at least one whose job I really don’t even understand.

Do you think any or our lives are even remotely similar? Sure, we all go grocery shopping, do the laundry and brush our teeth every morning (I hope!)…but really, our day to day existences are entirely unique.

Some of us can take off and travel the world. Many of us can’t. Some of us can start 401Ks. Some work hard to scrape the rent together. Some of us are married or homeowners. Some have kids. Some are dating or single. But we can’t all have all of those things all of the time. We can’t all be everything the internet is telling us to be in our twenties. It just isn’t possible.

Moving forward, I’m going to try to choose to avoid those “twenty-something” articles, because really, the only thing you need to know in your twenties is that EVERYONE’S LIFE IS DIFFERENT IN THEIR TWENTIES! 

Don’t feel guilty because you aren’t “making the most of your most glorious decade." 

Just do as my buddies T.I. and Rihanna instruct and live your life. That’s all there is to it.

Besides, why are we all taking advice from people in their twenties anyway? I’m not saying there aren’t plenty of smart-twenty-something-cookies out there. There are. But if I was going to seek advice on how to to live my life, I would have asked my grandmother. Someone who lived a full SIX DECADES longer than me. 

And do you know what she’d tell me?

She’d tell me to grab myself a good National Geographic, turn up the Dixie Chicks, come out on the porch and pour myself another drink. 

Fine by me, Nana, fine by me. 

everybody loves a good makeover!

A BLOG makeover, that is!

Tonight I am revealing the new and improved “Khaki Shorts” blog!

The changes are subtle, of course, but important. As I prepare for the release of “Lily the Rescue Dog” in 2014, I am also prepping the website with a new theme. 

Zookeeping is a huge part of my life. I spend more time at the Zoo than anywhere else in the world, and I’ve got the perma-dirt engrained into my hands to prove it! 

But “Lily” is not a Zoo story. In fact, a lot of what I write has nothing to do with the Zoo at all. And so, I am gradually beginning to separate my website from its Zoo-based roots. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write about my Zoo animals and crazy adventures, but I also love to write about running and cereal and how much fun it is to live in the Lou. 

And so, I shall stick to a Zookeeper theme (hence the continuation of the blog title, “Khaki Shorts”) and will continue to write about my life at the Zoo, while expanding into new territory as well (hence the extended blog title “Field Notes from Life’s Little Adventures”). Expect short snippets of stories with topics across the board.

The most exciting part of the Blog Makeover project is that readers (Readers? Do I even have any readers? Hello out there! I don’t even know!) can now leave comments. I hope that this will be a platform for lighthearted dialogue, opinions and, of course, your own short stories and fun. 

Finally, with an expanded topic list, I hope to actually USE my blog more. It ain’t gonna be Shakespeare. But, hey, at least I will try to write often (no matter how sloppy it may be!).

Without any further ado, I present to you all…THE NEW BLOG! 

The Summer of Bears

Well, it’s Labor Day. 

In the Zoo world that really just means more labor. Holidays are nothing when there are animals to feed and so I spent my weekend working as is the norm.

I like Labor Day–the bbqs, the lakes, family and friends–what’s not to love? But I also kind of hate it because I really, REALLY like summer. GIve me the hum of cicadas during a humid, 9 pm sunset any day and I’ll be quite content. 

In keeping with Labor Day tradition, the three day “weekend” inspires me to reflect on the last few months. Really, my summer was rather uneventful. The farthest I travelled was to Columbus, Ohio and I only made it down to the lake one time. But it was a special summer anyway because I got to spend each day of my work week in the company of bears.

I shall forevermore recall the Summer of ‘13 as the summer of bears!

I got to know these bears pretty well and I must say it is hard for me to chose a favorite.

There are the Sun Bears–Miskin and Rimba. Little, round, chunks of bear, these guys are feisty roly polies who look super cute but boast some seriously powerful canines. Miskin is the female and Rimba is the male. These two take turns giving me a good morning kiss with their long, pink tongues when I get to work each day. Usually, they get along, but I will tell you what, there is nothing that gets my heart rate up faster than the sounds of the sun bears growling when they do get into a tussle from time to time. Man, are they LOUD! 

Then there’s Daisy. Oh, Daisy. I love her so much. She is just the sweetest. Daisy is a Sloth Bear and I’ve been working on training her all summer. She is a very smart and a fast learner. We have bonded in our training sessions and can while away a good afternoon just sitting there, considering one another. Daisy loves to vacuum up treats like blueberries and raisins with her super sucker snout. In fact, her favorite enrichment item is a tube filled with these goodies! She is a reliable bear, but very sensitive and boy can she get sassy! Every morning this summer I’d arrive in the bear pits to find Daisy, asleep in her hammock, bottom lip pouting, just snoring away. So, so cute. 

That brings us to The Andeans. Their names are Poncho and Maria. I call Poncho “The Frat Boy” because he is seriously the most laid back dude ever. All he wants to do is lay around, eat, sleep and, well, you know…with Maria. He likes to sleep on his back with all four feet up in the air. He certainly gave me a bit of grief this summer with his unwillingness to get off his big bear butt and go outside! His mate, Maria, is a sharp one. Maria was the first bear born at the Saint Louis Zoo and she is 23 years old. She is almost half Poncho’s size, yet she likes to show him who’s boss! At the end of the summer, Maria struggled with allergies and I really bonded with her during my quest to get her to take her meds each day. She really loves her grapes and honey!

And, finally, Bert. Bert is the big, old Grizzly. He is wise, patient and very reliable. Every morning Bert is always inside, waiting for his breakfast and everyday at 4 pm he is outside waiting for his snack. The big guy weighs in at about 850 pounds and boy can he put down the chow! My favorite enrichment for Bert is perfume. Bert loves perfume and whenever I sprayed it on a rock or a log he would rub his back all over it. He prefers Estee Lauder “Beautiful” because, well, Bert is beautiful. 

Next week I will begin training in a new area, so I must say adieu to my bear friends for the time being. It is fitting, as we close out the Labor Day weekend, that I also wrap up my summer with the bears.

It’s not just the end of summer, though. Tomorrow ends an era, not just for me, but for the entire Zoo! Tomorrow, the demolition of the lower Bear Pits begins and the construction for Polar Bear Point will commence.

This is a seriously historical moment for Zoo nerds, like me. The Bear Pits were one of the very first exhibits at the Saint Louis Zoo. They were built in the 1920s and their naturalistic setting was a groundbreaking first in their time. Ninety years later, though, we know we can do better and so about four years from now all of our bear exhibits will be shiny, new and state of the art! I just can’t wait.

I am honored to have served, briefly, as the keeper of the bears in the original bear area. I worked just as generations of keepers have worked before me–lifting those heavy, steel shift doors and hosing everyday! 

As the sun sets on summer I will say goodbye to late nights, long evenings and those bear pits and move on to other things. 

Only 18-24 months to the completion of the new Polar Bear Point…and only 9 months until next Memorial Day…